Eternal Dreams: Memoirs of a falling dreamer

Dahil sa suliranin sa kuwarta, hindi ako magdiriwang bukas.

Sa dinami-dami ng gusto kong kahilingang imposibleng maisakatuparan, iisa lang ang tanging pinagdadasal ko ng lubusan. Iyon ay ang magkaroon ng isang himala.

Salamat sa mga nagpauna nang bumati.

In a day's span of events.

Watched the first half of Game 3 of the NBA Finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Orlando Magic.
Enjoying the excitement and intensity of the game. Go Lakers!

A blackout suddenly envelops the entire city of Quezon.
Signaling the urgency for me to leave the house. The timing was just unimaginable.

Contract Signing.
As per any contract I've ever signed in my life, I had doubts before writing the cursive version of my name.

The heat was unbearable, and even in UP there was no electricity. I had to wait until the afternoon to fix things. I went to TriNoma to be rid off the seemingly summer heat.
How random can things be.

Spending the whole afternoon falling in line, riding jeeps or walking distances between buildings in UP to take care of things.
I was worrying about not being able to sweat it out and be fit for two weeks now. Guess I got what I wished for, although in a very unpleasant manner.

Meeting up with Daryll to head to May's house. Ate dinner at Karuna's, a vegetarian cafeteria.
Tofu-based food actually taste great. Their vegetarian tocino was superb.

Praying at the chapel in UP.
I rarely say my prayers out loud. I just found myself speaking while praying, and almost got teary-eyed.

Singing out loud songs of the OPM 90s at the fields of UP.
Random activity. Didn't care much if there are a few people passing by. It was quite dark at that time. I hate my accursed voice for being unable to sing properly.

Went to Nina's place to pick her up.
Rather, it was the three of us who got fetched to May's house by Nina's mom.

Went to May's place to see Paula Taylor and take pictures with her.
Seeing Daryll get starstruck by the sights of Paula while getting his picture taken was priceless. Nina, May, and I laughed our hearts loud.

Simple hang-out and chat between the four of us.
Funny and enjoyable.

What a day.

I haven't had this much fulfillment over a group project, ever since the Pan Pil 19 film clips I directed for our group. You see, there's this Fil 40 subject I'm taking this summer. A late replacement for another subject. But, the good thing about this subject is that it only requires one group presentation that would compose 100 percent of our grade. I wasn't that enthusiastic to excel in this class, but sensing that our group had to step up since we had to be really better than the previous groups' presentations by a milestone. What resulted was a full effort powerpoint presentations, video clips, games, and filming. To be honest, I never expected that our group would fare well in reporting, but it turned out that our jokes, gimmicks, games, and reporting would sell to our classmates. We all felt the urgency to try to be perfect in execution, and it paid off.

Kudos to us. Job well done.

Damn, summer classes are about to end, just as it had become fun.

Many people think that I'm missing in action, in so many circles this summer. Maybe I am, and will be for a long period of time.

---

I have got to stop being so cranky in DotA. But it's just frigging irritating when a team does not act as one, and play as one. Playing with intensity, focus, and competitiveness, I want perfection in play execution.

---

Sabi ni Franz kanina, pihikan raw ako. May katotohanan nga ang pahayag na iyon, pero kung tutuusin, sobrang magkakaiba nga ng mga nagugustuhan ko. Maaaring kaya nais ko ng perpekto ay para huwag ko nang subukan pang maghanap muna. Iba din talaga pag may basehan ka na ng nais mo, o kaya ay nakakita na ng magandang pamantayan. Katulad nga sa isang kanta:

Comparisons are easily done, once you've tasted perfection.

Today’s morning was my first boxing pay-per-view experience. As many people know, today was another P-day, an utopian-like state where there is almost no traffic jamming the streets of the metro, the lowest crime rate, and the entire country frozen in a moment, with their eyes intently focused on either the television, or in theaters and projectors, showing the much hyped and awaited IBO Junior Welterweight Championship match between our country’s pride Manny Pacquiao and the then-champion Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton. Many have discussed in either their schools, offices, or during bottles of beer the possible outcomes and analysis of the match, and today the championship match was decided, and who else would win but our very own.

With the graciousness of my orgmate, Melissa Alcantara, I was able to watch for free the live telecast presented by the UP Association of Biology Majors at the Irwin Theater in Ateneo. My batchmates from Pisay: Aro, Chow, Timbol, Gelo, and Sheen also attended the event, and I joined them. Watching the live telecast was a festive experience for each one that attended, in which any punch thrown by our boxing hero was heralded by loud cheers and pumping fists. The entire audience was jumping, yelling, and cheering at the three knockdowns of the Englishman, and when the referee finally signaled the end, the whole place was a riot, and everyone was joyfully celebrating the victory. I’m sure that scene was evident in every corner in the country that broadcasted the match.

Two rounds, baby, just two rounds, were the cries of the people, and although I was glad that the outcome became in favor of our champion, it felt so short, and I craved for more action. Hatton was a very big disappointment, as he had absolutely no defense against the ravishing punches of Pacquiao. The most exciting moment of the match for me was the right fake that Pacquiao sold to the champion, and followed by a devastating left. Hatton was lying cold on the mat for quite a number of minutes. No mistaking, Manny is definitely the pound-for-pound champion of the world, and I sincerely believe that what Arum said about Manny was accurate, and that Pacquiao can actually be the best boxer ever lived. Six titles in six divisions, man!

So, what’s next? I heard Mayweather’s come out of retirement and facing Marquez in July. Apparently, whoever wins that match would most probably fight the now IBO Junior Welterweight Champion, hopefully in December. Definitely, that is a match to look forward, and deserve to be hyped to the max.

And hopefully, I get another free ticket to that pay-per-view. LOL! XD

Open Letters to the World

I suddenly thought of the idea of writing letters to people. Why not make a blog entry with this theme in mind, then?

Dear Ms. Canaria,

The unexpected sightings and conversations between us, the party at Eastwood, and your birthday party prove that you are indeed becoming more and more beautiful as time passes. Do not worry, for I had been doing my best to try to discard feelings. But I would still care for you, and that would never falter.

To my perennial teammates,

You guys are the best teammates I can have. Despite the constant and sometimes annoying trash-talking, the fun games-when-we’re-supposed-to-be-playing-seriously, even if I was quite bossy at times, and disappointed at some failures, I had the best games with you guys. I think we really have cemented our names in that café as one of the strongest, if not the strongest team based there. The times spent with you guys I found quite enjoyable, and it’s the best team that I was really comfortable to play with since the days of the Shock clan.

To a high school batchmate,

I had never expected that you would turn a typical hang-out into a whole afternoon and evening attempt to invite me over to this group that you belong in. I had clearly stated before that I never had any intentions of joining that kind of group in this university. If you think that the recruitment ways that you guys employ would really convince me to refute my previous statements, you are so dead wrong. All my college life, I had been invited, sometimes pestered, others begged for me to fill in their ranks. Heck, I found it very difficult back then to decline some of my closest friends in elementary and high school. What makes you think you guys are special? What makes you think I never heard the same recruitment pitches and persuasive tactics before?

You severely disappointed me, dude.

To my Dreamgirl,

Why do you always look so absolutely stunning and gorgeous? Hahaha! You will always remain as one of the women I really admire and respect so much. Oh, when can I ever get to have lunch with you again?

To all the graduating people I know,

Congratulations, everyone. I wish you guys and girls all the best in your future careers, or further studies. Pahingi ng grad pics, haha!

To the new Executive Committees of my organizations.

Congratulations on winning our organization elections. May you all continue the legacies of our organizations, and strive to improve and excel in our activities.

To a certain set of 20,

I really want to thank you guys for believing in me. If there was a chance that I could know who you guys are, I would be personally thanking each and every one of you.

To Jo,

I wish you well, and may you be able to continue the legacy of the committee in your administration. Despite not getting any replies from you prior and after, I would not take that against you.

To some people who really seemed to misjudge,

Isipin ninyo muna yung mga pinaparatang ninyo bago kayo putanginang humusga. Pinakaayaw ko sa lahat ang ma-isyu, kaya imposible talaga yung mga sinasabi ninyo. Kilalanin ninyo nga muna ako ng husto.

To Daril, TJ, etc.

Thank you for all the help that I recently received from you guys. I am so grateful to all of you.

To my godchild,

Congratulations on being the Top 2 in your Grade 4 batch (or class?). Ninong is so proud of you! I hope someday, you may get into the Philippine’s top schools as well, just like your godfather here.

To Abner,

Salamat sa mga tulong, at sa palagiang pagsama sa akin nitong mga nakaraang buwan. Ikaw na ang naging pinakamalapit kong kaibigan sa departamento ngayong semestreng ito.

To Pisay friends,

Nakaka-miss na kayo. Sana magkaroon ng maraming reunion at pagkikita ngayong tag-araw.

To LB friends,

Sadly, we transferees here weren’t able to visit and head back there before you guys graduate. This semester has been the most grueling for many of us here. We were unable to grab the last opportunity to see you guys there.

To Mom and Dad,

If you only knew how burned out I am from everything that’s been happening to me during the past months. I never ceased on wishing that we never had the financial predicaments that we are always having, on thinking that life would have been more efficient, easier, and the future would be brighter for all of us.

To me,

I don’t know what’s in store for your future, but as always, you will keep on dreaming, eternally dreaming and that would drive you forward, someway, somehow, hopefully.

Noong Linggo, papunta ako sa TagCom, nakasakay sa jeep mula sa bahay namin papuntang Padre Faura. Isang sakay lang kasi mula doon papunta sa pag-gaganapan ng TagCom. Laking inis ko nang singilin ako ng kinse pesos. Eh ang kadalasang bayad noong wala pang diskuwento ay trese lang. Nagmamadali lang talaga ako kaya hinayaan ko na, at nakasakay pa naman ako sa harapan.

Sa pagbiyahe ng jeepney sa kahabaan ng Quezon Avenue, napansin ko na sa kada makakakita ng taong naka-abang sa gilid ng kalsada ang tsuper at at ang kasama niya, ay agarang titigil ito at susubukang kunin ang pasahero. Nakakairita, kasi maraming beses na dapat ay naka-usad na ito sa stoplight, ay babagalan pa ang andar para lang mapuno ang jeep. Sabog bagal tuloy ng biyahe. Pacman ang tawag namin sa mga jeepney na tulad nito, na sinusubukang kunin ang lahat ng biyaherong makita sa lansangan.

Pagdating sa may Quiapo, hindi nila itinigil ang gawaing ito at bagkus ay sinubukan lalong manguha ng pasaherong mangagaling sa simbahan. Imbes na mabilis lang naming babagtasin ang daan, ay sumiksik pa ang jeep sa gilid, at huminto, sabay tawag sa mga pasahero. Lingid sa kaalaman nila, ay may Pulis Maynila palang nagbabantay sa may paradahan sa gilid ng simbahan. Agad-agad niyang inutos sa tsuper na ibigay ang lisensiya nito. Ang nakakatawa, agaran ding nag-abot ng pera yung tsuper, sa layuning masuhulan siya at malagpasan ang pagkakahuli sa kanya. Dito ako nabilib, kasi pinagalitan pa ng Pulis Maynilang ito ang tsuper, hindi tinanggap ang pera at sabing "Aabutan mo pa ako, akin na lisensiya mo!" Wala nang nagawa ang tsuper kung hindi umalis sa Quiapo nang hindi pa napupuno ang jeep.

Papunta na kami ng Taft nang pinag-usapan ng tsuper at ng kasama nito ang naganap. Kesyo sayang daw ang pasahero, kung wala lang daw yung pulis eh tiba-tiba na sana sila. Laking ngisi ko talaga na nahuli sila.

Malapit-lapit na kami ng biglang bumili at nag-sindi ng nga yosi ang dalawang ito. Katulad ng nakagawian, kinuha ko ang aking panyo at itinatakip agad sa aking ilong upang mahalata naman na masama sa akin ang usok na nangagaling sa kanila. Ngunit, parang hindi nila inintindi na mag-yosi sa loob ng jeepney, na siya namang bawal talaga, at tila walang paki sa mga pasahero nila. Nagtagal pa kami sa Taft dahil sa trapik, kaya lalo akong nahirapang huminga, at sila'y dakdak pa rin ng dakdak sa sumapit sa kanila.

Pagdating namin sa Padre Faura, agad-agad akong bumaba. Ang alam ko, napahiyaw ako ng "Buti nga sa inyo!" Hindi ko lang alam kung narinig talaga nila.

The UP FebFair has just concluded, and I spent three nights in the grassland of the UP Sunken Garden. I was able to attend the Tuesday’s Rockultura, Wednesday’s Amplified, and Friday’s Loverage 3. My musical thirst just had to be quenched last week and each night gave me very interesting experiences. So let’s start discussing them.

I signed up to become part of the Volunteer Corps for Rockultura. The perks of being one are a free shirt from Lee, food and drinks, entrance, and backstage pass. At first, the task that was assigned to us was just to patrol in and out of the venue and check for security problems. We all thought that it would be just an easy task, and that we can actually enjoy fully the show. However, it turned out that it was necessary for many of us to become bouncers, runners, and escorts to some of the bands playing. It was very tiring, I tell you. The advantages however were the fact that we were able to take pictures and talk with some of our rock idols, and get to see them play at a very, very close distance. Urbandub’s Gabby Alipe’s kindness left an impression on me when I escorted Urbandub to their vehicle and he allowed all the people unable to go inside to get his autograph and pictures. It was the first time for me to see Paraluman live, and their vocalist Madz is really, really cute. The VolCorp were also gaga over Mona, a band vocalist/Theater Arts student that we met backstage.

My attendance to Amplified was an impromptu decision, having first thought that I would be unable to attend two consecutive concerts with a severe lack of sleep. But, Laurence, Kevin, and Chev planned to attend, and a good friend from Los Baños, Mike, suddenly showed up and paid for my entrance. Amplified’s band line-up boasted of a Parokya ni Edgar/Kamikazee exclusive, and the two bands really gave the crowd entertainment. Chev and I also tried the wall climbing set-up by UP Grip, and I found it quite easy to accomplish.

The attendance to Loverage 3 was pre-determined months before, and I was most excited for this one. What a disappointment it was when the event actually happened. Aside from a ruined plan and late meet-ups with the troop, the concert was eventually stopped due to the extreme violence the orcs, “jumping jologs”, boloks, or whatever you would like to call them are showing. They were throwing things, fighting the security, and eventually breaking the walls of the venue. It was a very frightful experience seeing the chaos and feeling the tension at such a close range. Good thing not one of my friends got hurt. Laurence, Ely, and I stayed at Pornz’ place after the concert, fleeing the venue before all the chaos started, and waited until daybreak. For the most part of the night, I was with Kevin, as we waited until one-by-one Pornz, Ely, Laurence, Dino, Alan, Vinzon, and Robert showed up. It was really disappointing hearing Bamboo forced to play their songs at an unusually slow pace due to the chaos outside. It was even more irritating that I was unable to see Racel, or get Erika inside the venue. Damn it!

Being able to be at the backstage for these kinds of concerts are a dream for some people, but the luster it had on me once had already faded. During the last years of being backstage at some of the fair concerts, I have grown disappointed and turned off with some of the personalities I once admired. One can hardly breathe with all the smoke coming from the cigarettes used by almost everybody. Even some of the seemingly untarnished, beautiful women of rock that we see and hear smoke heavily. Some bands are hard to please and deal with, while some seem really irritated by the flashes of the camera and the fans that try to take their pictures with. But there are those that are really nice and wouldn’t mind smiling with you and even engage you in a few conversations.

I would say that I enjoyed last year’s performances better. But, there were some experiences to note for this year, and I wouldn’t regret going to them. Well, the future of the fair is uncertain for me now, with the entire ruckus that those frigging JJs, orcs, boloks, or whatever had been constantly doing all these years. I don’t wish to sound discriminating, but what happened last Friday was enough to warrant them a no entry to any of the upcoming fairs, in my opinion. Damn, I sincerely can’t fathom how these people think and act. I had my share of wild concerts attended, slamming joined, and rock wear used. Heck, I was able to do a mosh-pit back then. But, the behavior of these people nowadays is so unimaginable, chaotic, and hard to understand. I was really irritated when we heard from passing people of their kind that they were really proud of their accomplished tearing down the walls last Friday. The nerve of this people to cause this chaos without thinking about the overall safety of the people inside the venue who are there to enjoy a clean, musical performance! Damn these people for ruining our nights last Friday!

Sundays are usually my day of workouts, since my Tuesdays to Saturdays are loaded with academic responsibilities. Afternoons are a good time to lift weights, since it's just past merienda time and when I'm finished, it's time for a hearty dinner and a good night's sleep follows. Since I don't have a working MP3 player as of the moment, I'm restricted to listening to the loud speakers tuned to the FM radio in the gym. It's amusing that most of the airtime; many of my favorite songs are being played. Tracks from my recent music play-list like Spongecola’s Di Na Mababawi and Closer You and I, Paraluman’s Teka, and some of my most favorite OPM rock songs from the 90s: the era of the old Rivermaya and Eraserheads. There are times that I’d be seemingly unconsciously singing my heart out inside the gym when these tracks play. A good singer’s voice never ran in our family’s bloodline, so I seldom sing in front of people. Usually, people listen to Hip-hop and R&B tracks when they’re working out at the gym. That I do as well, but it feels better for me to listen to those sad, love, rock songs whenever I lift weights or jog. I don’t know, but it kind of makes me feel better, another way of displacement and emotional immersion.

I guess I’m the feeling of singing your heart out and pouring the emotions that is represented by those music tracks. Luckily, this week is the UP FebFair week and I might find myself again immersed in a concert, which I haven’t been able to do for a long time. This might be the season’s fault as well.

The following are some of the fandoms that I currently follow. I've written the down on a whim.

The Los Angeles Lakers is the top team in the National Basketball Association this season, garnering up as of press time a win-loss record 28-6. The Lakers fell short of the coveted NBA Championship last season, being defeated by the powerhouse Boston Celtics 4-2. This season however, the Lakers are back again in contention, with a more powerful and deeper line-up. Center Andrew Bynum has returned from injury, and is back on the starting line-up, letting Pau Gasol handle the Power Forward position. Luke Walton has also healed, swapping the SF position from Vladimir Radmanovic from time to time. As always, Kobe is always fired up, ready to pummel offensive firepower against their opponents. This season, the whole team is much more focused on defense, which they believed was inefficient last season and cost them the Championship. It’s also amusing to watch whenever their rookie reserve guard Sun Yue play, as well as when the whole starting line-up is ordered to go back to the bench and let the reserves play.

Currently, their drawback is the injury of their back-up point guard Jordan Farmar, but is expected to return to play soon.

Starters:
PG - Derek Fisher
SG - Kobe Bryant
SF - Luke Walton
PF –Pau Gasol
C - Andrew Bynum

Bench
PG - Jordan Farmar
SG - Sasha Vujacic
SF - Vladimir Radmanovic
PF - Josh Powell
C - Chris Mihm
PG - Sun Yue
SG - Trevor Ariza
DJ Mbenga

The San Miguel Beermen has always been my favorite PBA team since my childhood days. The perennial powerhouse is racked by a star-studded line-up. It was a disappointment, however, that they weren’t able to keep a sure semi-final slot, having loss a lot during the last days of the Fiesta Cup Eliminations. But the Beermen were able to win the bloody Wildcard Phase, and gain a Quarterfinal slot, facing their sister team Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings. The Beermen won Game 1 of their Best-of-3 match.

Injuries however plagued the team, as rookie Samigue Eman, point guard Mike Cortez, and gunman Danny Ildefonso has been sidelined for the season. Danny Seigle was able to return to play for the Quarterfinals, but is not at 100 percent.

ef – a tale of melodies is the sequel to the 2007 series ef - a tale of memories. The 12 episode anime, which was based on the graphic novel ef – a fairy tale of the two, is a ride of intense drama, tones of depression, rollercoaster love-related emotions, elegant musical score and backgrounds, and superb art. Avant-garde is expressed all throughout, and the scenes are elegantly depicted. This is definitely one of the anime series that I have shed not a few tears. Ef – a tale of melodies now focus on characters Yuko Amamiya and Yu Himura, in their strange start of a relationship, and the complications that will follow, as well as Shuichi Kuze and Mizuki’s. Tragic and heavy for the heart are some of the words that can describe this series.

Mobile Suit Gundam 00 is now on its second season, having following the fates of the remaining members of the Celestial Being, and their quest to end warfare in the solar-powered future. New Gundam units are now being possessed by the Gundam Meisters, which are quite cool in design and firepower. I personally am enthralled by the combined unit 00-Raiser, and its super speed. Anyway, the continuation of the series promises great action sequences, and an intriguing story. New characters are introduced, some sided with the Celestial Being, others being the new antagonists Innovators, and more of the Earth Federation’s military.

Left 4 Dead is the new co-operative first-person shooter game that is my current PC game addiction. This game is set in apocalyptic scenarios, with four survivors fighting hordes of numerous infected. Being a zombie-flick-and-game fanatic, this became easily likable for me. The game runs on the Valve engine, the ones used for Counter-Strike and Half-Life. The game is fast-paced and really requires co-ordination between the four players. The objective of the campaign mode of the game is to reach a standpoint where rescue can pick the survivors up, but along the way are massive numbers of zombies, with special types that are sure to make things difficult for the players. It is truly an enjoyable way for four people to spend time with, killing computer zombies, and shouting at each other.

I’m currently looking forward to the return of my favorite American shows: Heroes and Chuck. Both series are to resume on February 2, 2009. The start of the season 3, Villains, of Heroes seemed to confuse people on its plot track, but has caught pace again in their last episodes. Chuck continuously gives me the comic relief and the spy thrills with each episode.

Music artists, actors and actresses, mixed martial artists and wrestlers, more personalities, and other current fandoms to be written in due time.

So, the year 2008 has already passed and 2009 makes its way to each and everyone. Like most of my holidays, the New Year celebration was more festive compared to the Christmas celebrations. We had a simple Media Noche, but it really made our stomachs full. Too bad Mom wasn’t able to perfect her Leche Flan and Tiramisu recipes again, much to my dismay. I was really anticipating indulging in those desserts. As usual, my family declined the use of pyrotechnics and I was limited to lighting up some Roman Candles given away by a good neighbor. The hood becomes a street party every time the clock ticks 12 to usher a new year, with houses putting on full blast their stereo speakers, and people jumping around, banging on the closed shops of the street, and groups of people sitting at makeshift tables, popping on gin, beer, or brandy.

There were fireworks up in the sky, and smoke still filled the air at the festive streets. But almost everyone noticed that the celebrations weren’t comparable to previous New Year festivities. Only an hour has passed since the clock ticked 12, and the crackling of pyrotechnics and the lights they emit have diminished. The rain spoiled the celebrations, and the lighting of some firecrackers. The economic crisis and the thriftiness of people nowadays seemed to really affect even one of the most festive celebrations of the Filipino.

---

Christmas came by as well. My family prepared a much simpler Noche Buena, and slept after eating the midnight dinner, but not before I completed my text brigades of Christmas greetings to each Globe contact that I have. The Holidays require an activation of the unlimited texting service to be able to courteously reply to everyone, and I learned that one should anticipate the difficulty in availing the service especially during the eves of the special days. The day itself was spent with me heading to two of my Godmother’s houses. For this year’s Christmas earnings, I was able to gain a thousand and a hundred bucks and a new shirt. Not bad, considering that I’m already twenty and most people at my age are already shy to reach out to their Godparents. I’m just thick-faced and needing extra cash for the coming days. ^^

---

Classes resume in UP Diliman on the 6th for me. The impending end of the vacation would put me in a feeling that I haven’t made the most out of it. Not all my plans for the vacation materialized, but something in me tells me that I actually enjoyed the Christmas break.

So until then, let’s put other non-festive thoughts aside and welcome the New Year. I’m not making any resolutions this time. I easily broke my last year’s resolution (don’t ask what).

There had been a spree of events, lots of missed lunches, and straight days and nights of lack of sleep for me. Sure enough, it was Engineering Week 2008. For the UP Gears and Pinions, I performed with them in the much heralded Smoker's Night, and helped with marshaling the Triathlokohan and Street Jam 2k8 events. For the UP Industrial Engineering Club, I joined the Cartoonlitan, the Proctor and Gamble IDS, and the PC Gameng'g (Engineering DotA Tournament). I'm just glad that for the 20th year, we have won the coveted Engineering Week Overall Champion. Kudos to everyone in the organization for their support, skills, and passion to win the championship.

Playing in the DotA tournament made me realize that I actually had only a few heroes mastered. But the feeling of playing with top-caliber players from an organization gave me a high that I haven't felt since the days of the Shock Clan. Too bad we only gained 3rd place in that tourney, but it showed that IE Club is a force to be reckoned with in the Engineering DotA scene.

I have also been able to watch in full length the 2008 Lantern Parade. I was with John and Sean, situated in Quezon Hall. The floats and lanterns of each college was just a sight to behold, especially the perennial mesmerizing works of the College of Fine Arts.

It was just so frigging irritating that Globe's signal during the Parade dropped to an all-time low, with people unable to contact each other. The same thing happened during the UP Centennial Kickoff. That's the reason that all my plans for the parade got scrapped big time. I got separated from my DotAmates, and was unable to meet with other friends and interests. The bottom-line is that I was unable to make the most out of my last day in UP for the year 2008.

So, I resorted to going to the Miss Engineering 2008, and joined in support of the candidate of UP Gears and Pinions, Timothy Arce. It was quite an overwhelming feeling to hear almost all the Engineering organizations supporting and highly expecting our candidate's performance. It saddens to see that he got the "Thank You For Joining" award. I don't think he deserves that award to be given to him. But, at least Arce got the "Mrs. Engineering" and "Ms. Congeniality" awards.

I sincerely wanted to go to the EWOC party of IE Club, but it would have a bearing to leave GPs as we awaited Arce to finish from his post-pageant responsibilities. =(

---

There are only two days left before Christmas, but even now I still don't feel the Christmas spirit. People keep blaming the slumping economy and ineffective government, and many refrained from spending too much on the holidays. Back then, one can hear Christmas songs being loudly played at their stereo speakers everywhere. This time however, some streets keep a silent awaiting. Even the carolers diminished in number, as well as the amount of money people give to these house-hopping singers.

Or maybe it's just me feeling the coldness of the season. After all, I'm suffering from a flu that was caused by the chilling winds of the night.

---

The Christmas party of UP AME was held last Friday, but before that Sean, Josh, Gab, and I bummed around Troy's house to battle each other out in some Playstation 2 games. We found it hard to reach the venue, which was at the Neopolitan Casa Milan in Fairview. There was lots of food, and pretty people in pretty clothes at the party. But in general, I found it boring after the party programs has ended. It just seemed like we just switched tambayans. Oh well, I have rants with friends after that.

---

Left 4 Dead is a new cooperative, first-person shooter game set in four scenarios depicting a zombie-infested apocalypse. It's the new game to be addicted upon, and it's really fun to play with friends as you all try to survive and reach a rescue spot. But before you do just that, you'll have to combat hordes of different types of infected. A total stress relief, I tell you.

I was also able to catch up with Chuck and Heroes. Argh, why does both series have to halt until the first weeks of February?!

---

House-hopping ends tomorrow, I think. I've been to Jun's in SSS Village, Marikina and J3's in Bicutan, Parañaque. The heart-to-heart talks and the conversations about anything were looked forward to. TJ and Dudi were also with me here in J3's for two days.

---

Happy holidays to all.

This must be a late entry, considering that the days have passed since the events.

Like almost all Filipinos, I was glued to the television monitor last Sunday to watch the Pacquiao-de la Hoya fight. Aptly entitled "The Dream Match," this was a confrontation only previously fantasized or played in boxing simulation games. Going into the fight, Oscar de la Hoya was the favorite, having the size and reach advantage over the smaller Manny Pacquiao. The Filipino boxer had its speed as one of his strengths, and he surprised multitudes of people around the world by completely dominating the match.

I really applaud Pacquiao for that stunning performance. Kudos to trainer Freddie Roach and the rest of Team Pacquiao by delivering his ninth straight victory, and cementing his mark as the current best pound-for-pound fighter.

All throughout the match, and days prior to it, I was pestered by my father's irritating comments about how the match was just stirred for the big money involved, how the people are just being fooled, and how controversial the results would be. Heck, I couldn't enjoy the match with his sickening comments about it. He too was proven also wrong by the results.

I just sincerely hope that this victory of his wouldn't be utilized by the swarm of opportunistic politicians who crave for a shot besides the People's champ. The thought of Pacquiao taking up another crack at a government position is also something to be feared. To be honest, I think Pacquiao is someone with a good heart and a sincere interest to help people, but it wouldn't be proper for him to run again in the upcoming elections. I believe he already has the capacity to serve and help the Filipino people in other ways.

The thoughts above came to my mind when I was stuck in a traffic jam along Quezon Avenue yesterday, when the Pacquiao motorcade passed by that road and I caught a glimpse of the current WBC Lightweight Champion for three seconds.

---

This is my first time to be active in the Engineering Week, and I found it hard to juggle time fulfilling responsibilities as a UP Gears and Pinions and a UP Industrial Engineering Club member. But so far, I think I've been able to multi-task. The performance of the UP Gears and Pinions at the Engineering Smokers' Night last December 10 was awesome. The crowd was really craving for our skit, and their high expectations were met. The performance was an interpretation of the Super Mario Bros game. My hats off to Jayreus Jimenez for his idea. I've also been able to be part of some mini-events for IE Club. So far, things are looking well for the organization and hopefully we get our 20th Engineering Week Overall Championship.

---

Despite the hectic schedules of the previous and current week, I was still able to do two of my hobbies, namely weight training and DotA.

I'm looking forward for the upcoming vacation, despite the possibility that it would be uneventful for me.

I think I'm standing at a point where some of my priorities, and people to be with are about to change, perspectives to shift, and my personality to incline and deter in certain aspects.

My semester just concluded last Wednesday, and I'm trying to make the most out of the really short vacation that I have. The academic semester ended in a stressing note, and the last finals canceled my ability to go to the UP Gears and Pinions Final Rites. Thus, I would have to take the FR next semester, along with some of my co-applicants who were not able to go as well.

I went to J3's place soon after my last finals to de-stress, and caught up with the latest episodes of Bleach, Heroes, and Chuck there. I was also able to watch Max Payne last Friday with Gian as well.

---

Congratulations to all the new members of UP AME! Medyo napahirapan namin kayo noong induction, pero sulit naman lahat ng pagod at pagpapahirap hindi ba? I just hope that you guys and girls keep in your hearts and minds all the values we've imparted over the semester and in the induction. XD

I was able to attend UP AME's induction yesterday. It was held at 3B Resthouse in Antipolo. It was the first time for our organization to hold an overnight induction process as the past induction ceremonies are limited to the daytime. I can clearly state that the process this semester was harder than past instances. I wouldn't even want to imagine if I was one of the applicants. It was really, really enjoyable to be on the other side of things this time, being one of those members who'll indeed try to test your emotional strength and determination.

It was also one of those overnights that I really enjoyed going to. I was looking forward to dipping in the swimming pool. The mature discussions on relationships, love-life, organizational structure and leadership sparked my interests that I really had no time to sleep. It seems like I did miss talking with my buddy and my other friends in the organization as well.

Overnight at J3's. It's been a while since I came here, and it was another spontaneous, random invite. As usual, I'm enjoying the bum's paradise that is his humble abode. I've been practicing Guitar Hero and caught up with Heroes Season 3 here.

Prior to that, the commute towards here was filled with serious topics such as organizational structure, behavior, and ideal leadership. These are certain topics I had wanted to discuss with someone for some time now. Suggestions on image, behavior, well-being, and certain examples had been shared between the both of us, him being a vice-president of one of my organizations. To him, the fact that these thoughts have manifested means that it was the next step. I clarified that it was because I had found myself in situations wherein I find myself pondering the future of things I hold dear, and my growing concerns.

(after a talk about how heads try to get close with their members)
Wilfred: "The best way to get close to people is when you open up topics about their love life, their goals and dreams in life, and family stuff. Also, it would be very lucky if you people shared the same interests and hobbies."
J3: "Naku, problema ko yung sa pag-ibig. Wala akong maibabalik na kuwento eh."
(laughs at each other)

The ES 11 Final Examination that I blatantly cursed during its taking and after that has surprised me with an unexpected high score. Talk about luck, being the second highest in class. Thus, I secured myself a possible continuing future in the life of an Engineering undergraduate. One can really feel my expressed delight and relief yesterday. The semester hasn't ended just there though, since there's still the ME 63 Finals this Saturday, and unfortunately being texted by my ME 91 instructor that I have to take the final examination. I just can't have all the good things, can I?

Enough about academics. I'm very excited about the very short semestral break that I would have. Meeting up with my high school friends would be one of the things I'm really looking forward to. Drinking sessions, meet-ups, overnights, gym sessions; any of those will do just fine. I am also hoping that by a sheer chance that I would be able to go to UP Los Baños one more time, to see the people that were dear to me back there. It would only be a matter of months before my former dormmates, blockmates, and classmates there would graduate. That might be our last chance to see each other again.

Talk about being sentimental and reminiscent. A friend once said that I was really such a sentimental person.

Also, for quite some time now, I've been reconnecting with pasts. Yep, those that I had intentionally estranged myself from. Rather, they have been trying to reconnect with me in quite surprising ways. I guess I finally told myself that in order to gain the future, one must make peace with his past and present. Through those actions, have I really achieved that?

Quite surprising was yesterday's remark from an orgmate. Did many really think that I was making moves to certain people in our organization. I guess the image really seem to present just that. I was quick to deny such allegations, especially her thought that I was getting really close to someone. IF you only knew, I have not allowed myself to be immersed to anyone there. It was quite enjoyable discussing that topic though.

I am living the network gamer's life regularly nowadays. DotA and FocS matches between my friends at AME, acquaintances and friends from NCPAG, and orgmates at GPs occur frequently nowadays. I guess I'm really enjoying the stress relief (or the stress induced) by these matches, and the company of these people.

---

Let me get back on track. I sincerely need to.

It's amazing how time quickly flies. In just a few weeks, this semester's going to be over, passing like a stranger in these roads. But there are still so much to accomplish, and things that needed to be stepped up.

---

Rivermaya, Callalily, and Gaby dela Merced took my piled-up stress away last night. I could say that Callalily has really improved on their playing. The performance last night was nothing compared to their easily-criticized gigs I watched before. And Rivermaya rocked the night, singing much to my delight, songs from their glorious 90s. It seems like Jayson Fernandez, the new vocalist, has really come in synch with the band, performing well some of the songs that Bamboo or Rico used to sing. A guy from the audience was called by Jayson to sing along with the band. How I envy him. If I was confident with my singing voice, I would have stepped up and sang with my all-time favorite OPM band.

Has it been that long since I’ve watched a concert?

Luck seems to smile on me when I go to these events. I got myself a new watch from Levi’s, all by just writing something really revealing on a huge writing wall. (I still fear a certain instructor would find out.) I found it hard to speak when Ms. Dela Merced was interviewing me up on stage when Levi’s awarded the prize. Gaby is just so pretty.

---

It’s always amusing to see the reactions of people when I report in front of the class in my Engineering subjects. Most of them would be quite shocked to hear how I can really speak straight English, even in normal reporting, since I would often express myself in our native language. It is however, quite sad, to observe that many report with an inconsistency in language.

---

The frustrations of a trainer are starting to manifest upon me. It’s been more than a year since I started this endeavor. Right now, my weight training regimen consists of my PE subject, and weekend trainings at Michael’s condo. If only I was able to train more, and take those costly supplements. Would I still be able to continue my regular training when this semester ends?

---

The application process for the UP Anime Manga Enthusiasts would draw to a close this Tuesday. It would really be interesting to see how the applicants of our organization would fare. Observing the application was quite a delight for me, and I do hope that the members would carefully choose which applicants to pass.

My formal interview for my application to the UP Gears and Pinions would seem to push through on the 29th. I am very nervous about the outcome of my interview, since the organization’s formal interviews are unlike the ones I had before.

---

Let’s see how I’ll fare on another stressful week to come. A total of three examinations are set for me.

As summer classes ended, I found myself in a pessimistic perspective, thinking that my summer vacation would be uneventful and boring. I remembered complaining to Janet about it, just before our culminating activities. What happened was actually the opposite, as I had one of the most eventful summer vacations in my life.

What follows is a timeline of events. Just wanted to list it down.

May 16 -
Last Exam for POLSC 11
Gian's Photoshoot
DotA w/ Kevin & Alan
Lala's Gig at Bo's Coffee in Katipunan (watched it with JV, Jerms, Rey, Chow, Zaw, and Joyce)
Inuman at Xavierville (with JV, Jerms, Rey, Chow, Zaw, Joyce, Marlon, and Pao)
Overnight at Jerms' house

May 17 -
Tambay at Hyperjet in Ateneo
Basketball at BF Homes w/ Jerms, Juanchi, Aro, and Chow

May 18 -
Gym at Robinson's Place, Manila w/ C.O.
Dinner at Robinson's Place, Manila

May 19 -
Tambay at Vinzon's house
Counterstrike w/ Vinzon and Bonbon
Overnight at JE's house

May 20 -
Meet-Up at Robinson's Place, Manila w/ JE, TJ, C.O., Dogs, and Karl
Counterstrike and Worm War
Watched Iron Man w/ TJ and JE
Inuman at Gilligan's in Malate w/ JE, TJ, C.O., and Dogs
Overnight at JE's w/ TJ

May 21 -
Overnight at J3's w/ JE, TJ, and Daryl

May 22 -
Overnight at J3's w/ JE, TJ, and Daryl

May 23 -
Overnight at J3's w/ JE, TJ, Carlo, and Daryl

May 24 -
Basketball at BF Homes w/ Pisay batchmates

May 25 -
Gym at Robinson's Place, Manila w/ C.O.

May 26 -
Tambay at Vinzon's house
Overnight and Inuman at VJ's house

May 27 -
Bummed around my house

May 28 -
Leo's Birthday Treat: Billiards and Bowling w/ Marie, Ely, and Vinzon

May 29 -
Inuman at Malate w/ JV, Mickey, Juanchi, and Marcos

May 30 -
Overnight at J3's house

May 31 -
Mangaholix Manga Mania 2008 at SM X, SM Mall of Asia w/ J3, TJ, Me-Ann, JE, Bert, and Andrew

June 1 -
Fiesta at my neighborhood
Gym at Robinson's Place, Manila w/ C.O.
Watched Mr. and Ms. Barangay Doña Imelda

June 2 -
Basketball at Krus na Ligas w/ Ely, Bonbon, Vinzon, Chuck, and Laurence

June 3 -
Enlistment
DotA w/ UP Gears and Pinions
Overnight at J3's house w/ Martin, Daryl, AJ, and TJ

June 4 -
Enlistment
UP Anime Manga Enthusiasts GA
DotA w/ Laurence, Doni, Kevin, and King

June 5 -
Enlistment
Lunch and Dinner at Philcoa with Laurence and Bert
DotA w/ Laurence, Bert, and Doni

June 6 -
Enlistment
DotA w/ UP Gears and Pinions
DotA w/ Laurence, and Kevin

June 7 -
Pizza Hut with Bert
Garnet Reunion at Juanchi's house (w/ Dogs, Hazel, Chimoms, C.O., Mickey, and JV)

June 8 -
Sunday Mass

June 9 -
Basketball at Project 4 w/ Adrian, Drew, Pijo, and Joseph

Got this from Vincent Jeremy, nakakaaliw lang.

Ang "DOTA" Parang Pag-IBIG

c Enchantress k b?
-habang lumalayo ako sau, mas masakit..

c Doom k b?
-pag-anjan ka, mainit paligid ko..

c Silencer k b?
-kpg anjan ka, natatahimik ako..

c Beastmaster k b?
-maalaga ka kc..

c slardar k b?
-kc ms lumalakas tama ko sau..

c darkterror k b?
-ikaw lng gumagalaw sa mundo ko..

c razor k b?
- nakukuryente kc puso q sau..

c nerubian k b ?
-naghahabol aq lagi sau..

c omniknight k b?
-ikaw ang aking Guardian Angel..

bka naman CREEP k?
-lagi kasi kitang kasama..

hmm..

c phantom lancer b?
-cnong pipiliin ko sa inyo?

c techies b?
-suicide na ako kapag ala ka..

c leoric b?
-binubuhay mo ulit ako..

c crystal maiden b?
-kinikilig aq pag ksma k..

c pudge b?
-nahuli mo kc puso q..

c mirana b?
-dahil sau, napapatalon ako sa saya..

Frozen Throne o World Tree k b??
-kapag wala ka na, wala ng dahilan pa
para lumaban..

My summer classes ended a week ago, and since then I've engaged myself in meeting up and hanging out with many of my high school friends. With less than a month's worth of vacation, one would certainly make the most out of it. For many of my batch mates, this would be the last summer that they would have as undergraduate students, before they venture into either the corporate world or re-stepping into the academe for higher studies. But for me, there would still be three years of lingering into the fun life of college.

People would most likely see me back in the College of Engineering this coming semester, even if I get accepted in some of the colleges I applied. I wasn't able to meet the deadlines for the courses that I really wanted, so I'll be stuck as a Mechanical Engineering student. The only remaining subjects that I have until I graduate are engineering subjects. CRS has been good on me, endowing me with a lot of units.

Many would think that my summer classes are wasteful, especially my parents. After all, I enrolled in two electives that I really don't need. But I figured, since I was unable to get major subjects, I might as well try to experience an academic life outside the college, and at least get a taste of my frustrations in life. I was really, really tired of all the Engineering, ME and Math subjects.

Hanging out with my high school friends sure is fun, and I really missed the times that we can get together more often that now. In this period, it seems everyone in this world is busy, and rarely has time to see each other. I guess as the years pass, chances like these would become rarer, and it would take much more effort in sustaining connections. Good thing there are people that organize such meet-ups, or sends messages at a random time to invite people.

Some things never change, but some things really do. That's what I can say. It's quite surprising to hear people talk about business, family plans, and serious stuff over a drinking session. I guess a lot of us are really preparing for the next step.

Roughly two weeks left until I head back to the world of the academe. It seems like this coming semester would be just as activity-filled as my previous semesters. I should make the most out of this temporary freedom from things.

---

I just remembered last Friday, and how I wished for summer to end well days before it. Well, it did. I had this photo-shoot that morning, and I really loved how the shots turned out. (Thanks, Gian!)I didn’t take the last exam for POLSC 11 seriously, and I was really amazed at how my grades turned out in that subject. Two good games of DotA followed, and then I met up with my high school friends to watch Lala’s gig at Bo’s Coffee Club in Katipunan. A drinking session and an overnight capped the eventful day. Summer did end well.

Sadly, I had to decline Kat and Karla’s invitation to join them in their beach getaway in Puerto Galera. Seeing their pictures made me realize what I missed. That was compensated however with a meet-up with Pisay people that I organized, and a week-long overnight in JE and J3’s houses, along with many of my friends.

---

Side-Note: So, all this time, you thought that it was still her? (sighs)
If only you knew, but then again, what good would it bring?

Again, it’s been a while. The heat is killing me. I suffer from headaches often due to the extreme heat. To think that I felt so tolerable to heat back then.

I just wanna go to a beach, or even a resort, a swimming party. Financial and time constraints forbid me to do so.

I could have written more in the past few days.

---

Apparently, I've been left in the dark nowadays when it comes to the current events and political scenarios.

Despite holistic development being a crucial factor in my lifestyle and decisions, I was unable to remain updated on the latest of what's happening around the political scene both here in the Philippines. I remember back in grade school, the social sciences (political science and history) were my favorite subjects. Maybe, I might have found myself taking these courses if I didn't finish my high school in Pisay.

Am I really seriously thinking about heading to these disciplines? Three years of collegiate sciences and engineering, and four years of a science-focused secondary education have molded my brain into a mathematical/analytical mindset, and I found it hard to relate to so much stuff in my Psychology and Political Science classes. Denice was right that the social sciences are harder in a certain perspective. But despite the difficulties, I am actually enjoying the other side of the university.

These are my last electives, if ever I opt to stay in the College of Engineering. When all this ends, I’ll be facing only major and Eng’g subjects until I graduate.

---

I’m finding myself believing that some problems are there for you to forget other much more important problems in life.

I think I've given up on certain things and hopes.

Debates are usually part of my interests. The clashing of intellectual reasoning and defense of beliefs have always intrigued me. Before, I would always passionately defend what I believe in, and point out things that clash with them. But now, I tend to believe that debates can only produce a practice of intellectualism, but rarely would turn people from their beliefs.

In short, you can never force people away or towards certain ideologies and perspectives, even if sensibility and reasons implicates that they should do so. You can only make them believe through influence, and by living a life that promotes and adheres to one's principles. Most likely, if people see that they work out on some people, sooner or later they would realize that it might do so on their own lives.

---

I was unable to attend Joahna's debut. =(

A businessman should never assume and perennially await the arrival of good times and harvests. In a businessman's perspective, realism and a recommendable amount of pessimism is required. Entrepreneurs should always watch out and be prepared for worst-case scenarios, so that he or she wouldn't be caught up in the tide unprepared. But it is the slight glimpse of hope and better days that drives the entrepreneur to take enormous risks that normal people wouldn't dare to do. Grasping those dreams and putting them into a vision, despite the nightmares that may turn into reality. Entrepreneurs are such visionaries and dreamers, making their kind of the most admirable, confident, and fulfilled persons in this world.

I can't believe I'm actually writing this, after attending my Entrepreneurial class. After something happened to me last Monday. Making up such analogies seem to become my hobby nowadays.

I don't have the luxury to go into a corner and be depressed. Time is passing by too fast, and there are so many things to accomplish, and responsibilities to fulfill. I hate being a late absorber, and it seems that I am still awaiting that one big shock. But before that happens, I'll make the most out of things.

---

I haven't written much about what has happened to me for a month already. For many people, my lack of hairstyle came as a big surprise as well. It was high school graduation that I last had my hair shaved, for similar reasons. Anyway, it seems to look decent on me, so I'll be sticking to this for a while.

Last week was Fair Week in UP Diliman, and I had to attend three consecutive fair dates. (Monday-Wednesday). That's one of the reasons why I am really sick and stressed nowadays. I couldn't just cancel and turn down my friends' requests to meet up for the fair. So I attended Loverage 2 with my sister, Bert, Joyce, Vinzon, Ben, Ely, Donnie, Alan, and Robert. For Rakestra, I was with Racel and Kaye, and for the Rock-Lovean sa Isandaan, I was with Robert and Mike. The lost hours of sleep was all worth it, as the concerts were fun, and luck was on our side for those days. Examples of which are free shirts, backstage passes, CDs, and dozens of photos with our favorite bands. Some subjects and classes were sacrificed though.

Uploading and looking at our pictures that Monday night really made me smile, despite what happened.

---

My sister has really made me so furious. I couldn't believe she'll act so immaturely, taking things into her own hands, and foolishly trying to "help." She made me so embarrassed in front of her, and other people. I am so ashamed of what she has done, and I am terribly sorry for all the people that was affected by her intrusions.

I am really sorry.

---

Obviously, Valentines was a non-notable date. Maybe, it was really for the best after all.

The UP AME Alumni Homecoming was very surprising for me. The theme for this event was Prom Night, and it was a delight to see everyone in their formal clothes. I was also surprised with what happened. ^^

This week is ME week, and I would be really busy helping out with all the events that the UP Gears and Pinions are organizing. I just went from our cookout, and it was nice having dinner with all the people in the organization. The 13th Diliman Motorshow is going to be held this Saturday, and I'm looking forward to seeing all those rides lined up in front of our college.

Our group in Pan Pil 12 has also started to shoot for our film requirement that we need to pass. The topic that we have to discuss is Philippine Cinema History. Isn't life cruel? I have to write the scripts, which have to be comedic, in my present emotional state. Oh well, I think I'll do just fine.

The formal interview for UP Industrial Engineering Club are just two weeks away now. I hope I'm gonna do just fine on the date of my interview.

I chose not to drop any of my 21 units, not because I have high hopes, but because I'm gambling everything in this semester. This is the ultimate test of my academic, social, and emotional endurance.

And lastly, I believe I need to completely forget this one person. It's not easy, but my life has always been a cycle. It always is.

---

Sino diyan ang nakabili na ng pinakabagong album ng Sandwich at Rivermaya? Padala naman ng mga kanta nila, haha! Pirata modes.