Eternal Dreams: Memoirs of a falling dreamer

Two friends that I have long admired mentioned of an occurrence of a meteor shower which was to happen at around 11 P.M. to 5 A.M. For quite some time now, I have not been keen on observing astronomical occurrences, letting rare occasions such as eclipses and meteors pass by without the slightest concern. These rare sights seemed not worth anticipating. But tonight was different, it was symbolical. It may have been significant because of the people that mentioned it to me.

I just came home last night from a screening of the disaster movie 2012, and one of the driving plots of the story was about the alignment of heavenly bodies as a major cause of the catastrophes. After arriving late and finishing homework, I found myself staring at the skies, sitting at our window pane, keenly anticipating a flurry of bright lights. Minutes passed by and I noticed that the massive clouds that would have hampered my view were dispersing, and soon it was the bright twinkling of the stars and constellations that glittered the sky.

I then sang a song, one of which would always be part of my life’s play list. Some of the houses slumber at these hours, some neighbors still walk the roads, yet my voice did not mind the resting. Sure, I believe I can write well or speak good enough to get my message across, but it has been constantly frustrating to lack having the proper tune, the inability to speak my heart thru clear melodies. But there I was, trying best to reach those pitches, the night just seemed so perfect for honesty.

It was then that I realized that I had long wished for those stars to fall, for the heavens to finally come down to earth, and for the impossible to finally be reached by my own hands. These allegories may have been the reason behind the sudden anticipation. But it was already midnight, past my normal time of rest. It was already a long and tiring day, a workout done late in the afternoon demanded its well-deserved sleep. I could not linger waiting for those bright lights to fall anymore, for those shooting stars in the sky. Thus, I finally slumbered, letting another beautiful sight to pass, finally giving up at the last waking moment of consciousness.

I found out this morning that the stars did not fall for many that waited for them as well.

There would be many instances at home when I would suddenly ask my own reflection in the mirror and say “It’s been a while.” While this may obviously be incoherent because of the fact that I do check my image every so often, the statement always seemed to be a powerful provocation when stated in a confident manner. This semester would entail me to produce lots of written works, and I wanted to start it with an entry.

One of the priorities for me in the off-season was getting back in physical condition. Prior to the typhoon that ravaged our country, the days alternated with physical activities that include the constant visit at the weights room, or the days of the UP Gears and Pinions Basketball Tournament. At the start of the semester, and the seemingly short break that preceded it, I found myself jogging, playing basketball, and working out again.

A Sunday full of events has always been a rarity in my life. After a brief one jogging lap around our barangay, and a making a few shots in the basketball court, I found myself in the company of some of my dad’s friends and going to a nearby barangay to watch the Pacquiao-Cotto fight. Some politicians who were obviously aspiring to win some seats in the Quezon City local government sponsored the pay-per-view which was presented in a projector-screen set-up at their barangay court. I badly wanted to see the fight live, and was not willing to shell out 300 bucks or more so I went ahead with watching the show there. The place was quite packed, with the audience consisting mostly of middle-aged men that turn into boxing analysts come fight time. The temperature was very hot, but it was bearable.

It has always been a pleasure watching a Pacquiao fight live and in the company of hundreds of fans yelling and cheering at each successful punch thrown by Manny, or the heaves and sighs the people give whenever the Filipino boxer is hit. And when the referee signaled the end of the fight, everyone was throwing their hands in the air and shouting for joy. Indeed, it was a marvelous sight to behold. I imagine that there were very similar scenarios in the other establishments that showcased the fight.

Dad never wanted to see the Pacquiao fight, and was keenly interested in seeing him lose. He cites Pacquiao’s “growing boastfulness” as the main reason for his dislike. It was fun seeing him frown again as Pacquiao yet again emerge victorious.

After a seemingly random morning’s discussion about God and the possible apocalyptic scenarios with my Dad, I was able to convince him to take me to the movies to watch 2012. Take note that I don’t even remembered the last time we went out on a movie together. So after the Pacquiao fight, I hurriedly fixed myself up to go the nearest mall, which was SM Centerpoint. It didn’t take long for us to wait at the mall, since we were just almost in time for the next show. It was just too bad that my father’s eyesight worsened quite recently, and he couldn’t see the subtitles in some of the parts of the movie.

Anyway, about the film, I really found the movie compelling and enjoyable, and it gave me a lot of scenarios, both in the human aspect, and the scientific facts to contemplate about. It was also amusing to hear Dad’s remark after the film. He thought that the film’s writer and director were “excellent, but weird in their ways of thinking.”

There was also this amusing moment at our dinner in Jollibee. Dad noticed a small kid running towards the counter and pointing at the menu. He then told me that I really looked like that playful kid back when I was still two years old, an eager kid perennially wanting to go to a Jollibee store whenever the whole’s family in the mall.

The night did not end there, as I received an invitation by Daryll to head to Mayen’s house in Makati to celebrate Daryll’s birthday there. It was also a pretty late arrival, as we had to go to Cubao, and then to Philcoa first before heading here. In here, we talked a lot of intellectual, often geeky conversations, as well as dining in sushi and sashimi. At the early hours of dawn, we decided to screen two flicks: 500 Days of Summer, and Malena. I found the conversations and the debates that happened after we watched “500 Days of Summer”, as all of us agreed that the movie portrayed real-life situations in the progress of the relationships of people, and went back on our experiences in the matters of fate and destiny.

I spent the whole Monday here, and am about to leave now. Until the next entry, may that come soon? I badly need to sharpen my writing skills.

I remember the anime, Baki the Grappler, which featured one memorable line. In English, a character there said and I quote "Once in the life of a man, there will come a time when he would wish to be the strongest person in the world."

During a jeepney ride to Philcoa, I was able to talk with AJ. In the course of the conversation, the topic of martial arts was pre-dominant. He’s really interested in the practice of combat sports, and shares to me his experiences and explanations for fighting techniques. I for one was very intrigued by the topic, having garnered a recent interest in the subject matter. I also envy some of my batchmates JV and Paolo, who I've recently talked with and had discussions at a party of their current interests and training: boxing.

With the advent of bodybuilding in one male’s life, one would not be surprised if an interest in combat sports and martial arts would come up to his mind anytime. They say that building a fit and finesse type of body would lead to one gaining a spark to utilize it in manners of athleticism. The only problem for me is how to start learning one? Mixed martial arts prove to be the most appealing to me, having been recently following pay-per-views of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Whenever I watch the likes of George St. Pierre, Brock Lesnar, and Lyoto Machida beat the hell out of their competitors using different fighting techniques, I can't help but feel at awe with the display of their skills. I've also found myself looking forward to each blockbuster boxing matches by our Filipino sluggers, having watched the fights of world champions Manny Pacquiao, Nonito Donaire Jr., and Brian Villoria as of late. However, training for these sports involves spending lots of money, which I do not have the luxury.

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I just watched UFC 102, and Brian Villoria’s title defense yesterday. Nogueira and Couture’s match was a classic. Villoria seemed really fast and sharp during his defense.

Ever since last Saturday, when the news of the late Former President Corazon Aquino’s death reached my dad’s ears, the television at home was glued to ABS-CBN and its affiliate networks. Dad’s eyes were stuck through the LCD, catching each glimpse of the latest updates of the funeral and the burial. To put it simply, almost all TV time was spent on the news.

With her death, I found out that Dad was a big fan of Tita Cory back then and that his admiration for her was really great. It only faltered when he found out that the Aquino family suddenly became one of the current administration’s staunchest critics, and even allying themselves with Estrada, the former President that they themselves helped oust at his post.

I being a person with an interest in history, I was really amazed at how a united Filipino people were able to be as one and topple a dictatorial regime without an armed struggle. Reading these in history books that were published abroad just gives an overwhelming feeling of national pride. It must be really great back then to be a Filipino, to feel that national and unifying pride that would be known by people all over the world.

The coverage of ABS-CBN all throughout the events was just impressive, and for me, it really caught the emotions of the people who loved the former President. I have to admit that I almost got teary-eyed while watching the necrological services and the burial itself. The testimonies given by the family, friends, subordinates, and employees of the former President all point to a good-natured, caring, nationalistic, religious, and fulfilled person. Watching the procession, which started from Manila Cathedral in Intramuros to Manila Memorial Park, gave me a slight glimpse of what must have happened in 1986. Dad says it was nothing compared with Ninoy’s procession, which I have to assume that he took part of, but I never wanted to compare such trivial stats. Only the sight of people’s own sacrifices of tiring legs and forgetting hunger and sweat was enough for me to say that indeed the Filipino people loved their former President so much.

Rest in Peace, Ma’m.

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P.S. I wore yellow for three days now.

After an overnight stay at Mayen’s house, Daryll, Mayen, and I decided to head out to Manila first thing in the morning today. It was about 8 AM when we met up with Julie, Mayen’s girlfriend in the front of the Post Office Building. That was the start of a long day that involve the four of us rediscovering the rich culture and history of the Philippines.

For everyone in the group, it has been a very long time since each has experienced going to a historical and cultural field trip, and that paved the reason for going to Manila in a seemingly random date. Actually, it was Mayen and Julie’s plan; Daryll and I happened to have agendas of trying to relax on a weekend by going someplace new.

The first destination was Manila Cathedral, where we attended the 8:30 AM mass. It was quite hot inside the church, and there were visible preparations for a wedding after the mass and the funeral for the departed former President Corazon Aquino. I was really sleepy during the entire occasion, with me lacking lots of sleep, but resisted the urge to nap for the sacredness of the celebration.

The next stop was Fort Santiago inside Intramuros. I can’t even remember the last time I visited the place. During the middle of the visit, I began joking about how I was the reincarnation of Jose Rizal, inciting the same birthday that we shared, and the interest of holistic development. We visited almost every nook of the heritage site, all the while acting like I was getting dizzy and remembering how I died. Talk about crazy shit, haha!

We ate lunch at Jollibee, bills paid by Julie since she was the one with the salary and all. Afterwards, we traveled to the two building of the National Musuem. I did not expect that I would find it really interesting to see what they showcased in there. The artworks were quite captivating, and it took us a really long time to hop from one gallery to another because we tend to analyze the artworks and find their respective meanings. Anyone who pays a visit to those buildings would tend to re-discover the rich culture that our country has. The only problem we see is the lack of marketing of this culture in the youth today has become apparent.

The day ended with a visit to Luneta, a fitting conclusion to a self-organized field trip. The whole visit was dead tiring, and my legs really hurt a lot with all the walking and standing the four of us did. However, it was all worth it.

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This unplanned trip for me made me implicate on a few things. One is remembering how I once wanted to be like our national hero, on the aspect of amassing knowledges from different fields and studies, and gaining an amazingly diverse set of skills and interests. I regard him as the ultimate epitome of Filipino Holistic Development, a state I once wanted to have. Looking back to my own life, I could not compare the skill set and interest set that I have with him. But, it did give me a renewed interest in learning many things in life that would prove interesting and worthwhile for me.

It has also been a while since I took up art appreciation in its formal context, and there were a few paintings that really caught my eye. It was also a sight to behold to see the full glory of some of the works of our renowned National Artists, and see that they really produced top-notch and large canvasses.


I missed taking good shots with a camera, and it was fun to capture the poses the four of us made at each stop we took during the trip. Can’t wait to retrieve and upload.

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By the way, the four of us got in the museums for free today. Lucky for us, entrance is free during Sundays. The entrance to Fort Santiago was just 50 bucks each.

Another thing, I saw Sir Jonas Gonzales, my Entrepreneurship mentor at the National Museum today as well. Talk about random.

Mayen is a batchmate of mine from high school, and here I am at his house, after an all-nighter tutorial session in which I was the tutee being taught how to excel in an examination later this morning. This was very much unplanned, as I was only walking towards a library when I ran over him walking in the same direction. After telling him my intentions to prepare for an examination, he suddenly offers his hand in helping me with the subject matter. Prior to that, I was at another library, searching for information for another subject, when I saw Jennylyn, a friend from DOST-SOEP and randomly asked her to help me with another academic requirement.

Randomness is defined in chemistry as the general eventual state of things. The second law of thermodynamics state that in a system, a process that occurs will tend to increase the total entropy of the universe, which corresponds to chaos and randomness. In statistics, it is a necessary component in providing and acquiring important data over a given population. Both suggest the importance of this concept in the study of matter, behavior, and data itself. The events in the opening paragraph clearly demonstrate the beneficial and interesting implications of the concept of randomness.

On certain times, one may connote the adjective of being “random” to a person who does, says, and thinks of things impromptu, out of the blue and unpredictably. While this trait is not bad per se, I find it at times uncomforting for people to suddenly manifest this.

I regarded myself as one who adheres to predictability to generate data and correlate information and its relationships. Planning with the letters A-Z or numbers 1-infinity seems an excellent ideal to have, despite the sometimes lack of it in my life. I take joy in finding out the correlations between personality, beliefs, and actions to the reasons behind them, or in predicting either the outcome of these reasons or the possibility of factors that affect human behavior.

But over the course of time, I have eventually found out the importance of randomness in everyday life. Wouldn’t it be easier for people to re-connect, share, and discuss conversations with random topics that you just think about in a moment, and let the talk with that sparked flow? Wouldn’t life be much more dramatic and interesting if events transpire out of the blue, and chance encounters are determined by an incalculable fate? Some of the luckiest, most beautiful, and captivating moments may as well be as random as you can get.

Is fate, and eventually the life of man itself be a probability one can never attempt to fully calculate, or are there always catalysts, prime movers to drive the transpiring of events? While I firmly believe in the existence of a Supreme Being, as both faith and reason hand-in-hand in backing this concept, are the events, emotions, states, and personas of man attribute by random factors, and how all of these are placed at one’s life? Optimization is an ideal concept, which most of us pray to acquire in their lives; the total efficiency of actions and goals, as well as happiness and contentment. But, the seemingly random events that occur in them tend to stray one from the ideal fit line. One can conclude that the idea of optimization and ideal is still and would always be invaluable, and should always stay as one’s guide towards the progression of one’s timeline, but the adaptability and reactions of individuals in the presence of randomness would clearly define and mark what their worths are.

Wilfred Steven A. Fernandez
Currently taking up subjects in Statistics and Chemistry, and will have examinations on both subject matters today.

Dahil sa suliranin sa kuwarta, hindi ako magdiriwang bukas.

Sa dinami-dami ng gusto kong kahilingang imposibleng maisakatuparan, iisa lang ang tanging pinagdadasal ko ng lubusan. Iyon ay ang magkaroon ng isang himala.

Salamat sa mga nagpauna nang bumati.

In a day's span of events.

Watched the first half of Game 3 of the NBA Finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Orlando Magic.
Enjoying the excitement and intensity of the game. Go Lakers!

A blackout suddenly envelops the entire city of Quezon.
Signaling the urgency for me to leave the house. The timing was just unimaginable.

Contract Signing.
As per any contract I've ever signed in my life, I had doubts before writing the cursive version of my name.

The heat was unbearable, and even in UP there was no electricity. I had to wait until the afternoon to fix things. I went to TriNoma to be rid off the seemingly summer heat.
How random can things be.

Spending the whole afternoon falling in line, riding jeeps or walking distances between buildings in UP to take care of things.
I was worrying about not being able to sweat it out and be fit for two weeks now. Guess I got what I wished for, although in a very unpleasant manner.

Meeting up with Daryll to head to May's house. Ate dinner at Karuna's, a vegetarian cafeteria.
Tofu-based food actually taste great. Their vegetarian tocino was superb.

Praying at the chapel in UP.
I rarely say my prayers out loud. I just found myself speaking while praying, and almost got teary-eyed.

Singing out loud songs of the OPM 90s at the fields of UP.
Random activity. Didn't care much if there are a few people passing by. It was quite dark at that time. I hate my accursed voice for being unable to sing properly.

Went to Nina's place to pick her up.
Rather, it was the three of us who got fetched to May's house by Nina's mom.

Went to May's place to see Paula Taylor and take pictures with her.
Seeing Daryll get starstruck by the sights of Paula while getting his picture taken was priceless. Nina, May, and I laughed our hearts loud.

Simple hang-out and chat between the four of us.
Funny and enjoyable.

What a day.

I haven't had this much fulfillment over a group project, ever since the Pan Pil 19 film clips I directed for our group. You see, there's this Fil 40 subject I'm taking this summer. A late replacement for another subject. But, the good thing about this subject is that it only requires one group presentation that would compose 100 percent of our grade. I wasn't that enthusiastic to excel in this class, but sensing that our group had to step up since we had to be really better than the previous groups' presentations by a milestone. What resulted was a full effort powerpoint presentations, video clips, games, and filming. To be honest, I never expected that our group would fare well in reporting, but it turned out that our jokes, gimmicks, games, and reporting would sell to our classmates. We all felt the urgency to try to be perfect in execution, and it paid off.

Kudos to us. Job well done.

Damn, summer classes are about to end, just as it had become fun.

Many people think that I'm missing in action, in so many circles this summer. Maybe I am, and will be for a long period of time.

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I have got to stop being so cranky in DotA. But it's just frigging irritating when a team does not act as one, and play as one. Playing with intensity, focus, and competitiveness, I want perfection in play execution.

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Sabi ni Franz kanina, pihikan raw ako. May katotohanan nga ang pahayag na iyon, pero kung tutuusin, sobrang magkakaiba nga ng mga nagugustuhan ko. Maaaring kaya nais ko ng perpekto ay para huwag ko nang subukan pang maghanap muna. Iba din talaga pag may basehan ka na ng nais mo, o kaya ay nakakita na ng magandang pamantayan. Katulad nga sa isang kanta:

Comparisons are easily done, once you've tasted perfection.

Today’s morning was my first boxing pay-per-view experience. As many people know, today was another P-day, an utopian-like state where there is almost no traffic jamming the streets of the metro, the lowest crime rate, and the entire country frozen in a moment, with their eyes intently focused on either the television, or in theaters and projectors, showing the much hyped and awaited IBO Junior Welterweight Championship match between our country’s pride Manny Pacquiao and the then-champion Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton. Many have discussed in either their schools, offices, or during bottles of beer the possible outcomes and analysis of the match, and today the championship match was decided, and who else would win but our very own.

With the graciousness of my orgmate, Melissa Alcantara, I was able to watch for free the live telecast presented by the UP Association of Biology Majors at the Irwin Theater in Ateneo. My batchmates from Pisay: Aro, Chow, Timbol, Gelo, and Sheen also attended the event, and I joined them. Watching the live telecast was a festive experience for each one that attended, in which any punch thrown by our boxing hero was heralded by loud cheers and pumping fists. The entire audience was jumping, yelling, and cheering at the three knockdowns of the Englishman, and when the referee finally signaled the end, the whole place was a riot, and everyone was joyfully celebrating the victory. I’m sure that scene was evident in every corner in the country that broadcasted the match.

Two rounds, baby, just two rounds, were the cries of the people, and although I was glad that the outcome became in favor of our champion, it felt so short, and I craved for more action. Hatton was a very big disappointment, as he had absolutely no defense against the ravishing punches of Pacquiao. The most exciting moment of the match for me was the right fake that Pacquiao sold to the champion, and followed by a devastating left. Hatton was lying cold on the mat for quite a number of minutes. No mistaking, Manny is definitely the pound-for-pound champion of the world, and I sincerely believe that what Arum said about Manny was accurate, and that Pacquiao can actually be the best boxer ever lived. Six titles in six divisions, man!

So, what’s next? I heard Mayweather’s come out of retirement and facing Marquez in July. Apparently, whoever wins that match would most probably fight the now IBO Junior Welterweight Champion, hopefully in December. Definitely, that is a match to look forward, and deserve to be hyped to the max.

And hopefully, I get another free ticket to that pay-per-view. LOL! XD

Open Letters to the World

I suddenly thought of the idea of writing letters to people. Why not make a blog entry with this theme in mind, then?

Dear Ms. Canaria,

The unexpected sightings and conversations between us, the party at Eastwood, and your birthday party prove that you are indeed becoming more and more beautiful as time passes. Do not worry, for I had been doing my best to try to discard feelings. But I would still care for you, and that would never falter.

To my perennial teammates,

You guys are the best teammates I can have. Despite the constant and sometimes annoying trash-talking, the fun games-when-we’re-supposed-to-be-playing-seriously, even if I was quite bossy at times, and disappointed at some failures, I had the best games with you guys. I think we really have cemented our names in that café as one of the strongest, if not the strongest team based there. The times spent with you guys I found quite enjoyable, and it’s the best team that I was really comfortable to play with since the days of the Shock clan.

To a high school batchmate,

I had never expected that you would turn a typical hang-out into a whole afternoon and evening attempt to invite me over to this group that you belong in. I had clearly stated before that I never had any intentions of joining that kind of group in this university. If you think that the recruitment ways that you guys employ would really convince me to refute my previous statements, you are so dead wrong. All my college life, I had been invited, sometimes pestered, others begged for me to fill in their ranks. Heck, I found it very difficult back then to decline some of my closest friends in elementary and high school. What makes you think you guys are special? What makes you think I never heard the same recruitment pitches and persuasive tactics before?

You severely disappointed me, dude.

To my Dreamgirl,

Why do you always look so absolutely stunning and gorgeous? Hahaha! You will always remain as one of the women I really admire and respect so much. Oh, when can I ever get to have lunch with you again?

To all the graduating people I know,

Congratulations, everyone. I wish you guys and girls all the best in your future careers, or further studies. Pahingi ng grad pics, haha!

To the new Executive Committees of my organizations.

Congratulations on winning our organization elections. May you all continue the legacies of our organizations, and strive to improve and excel in our activities.

To a certain set of 20,

I really want to thank you guys for believing in me. If there was a chance that I could know who you guys are, I would be personally thanking each and every one of you.

To Jo,

I wish you well, and may you be able to continue the legacy of the committee in your administration. Despite not getting any replies from you prior and after, I would not take that against you.

To some people who really seemed to misjudge,

Isipin ninyo muna yung mga pinaparatang ninyo bago kayo putanginang humusga. Pinakaayaw ko sa lahat ang ma-isyu, kaya imposible talaga yung mga sinasabi ninyo. Kilalanin ninyo nga muna ako ng husto.

To Daril, TJ, etc.

Thank you for all the help that I recently received from you guys. I am so grateful to all of you.

To my godchild,

Congratulations on being the Top 2 in your Grade 4 batch (or class?). Ninong is so proud of you! I hope someday, you may get into the Philippine’s top schools as well, just like your godfather here.

To Abner,

Salamat sa mga tulong, at sa palagiang pagsama sa akin nitong mga nakaraang buwan. Ikaw na ang naging pinakamalapit kong kaibigan sa departamento ngayong semestreng ito.

To Pisay friends,

Nakaka-miss na kayo. Sana magkaroon ng maraming reunion at pagkikita ngayong tag-araw.

To LB friends,

Sadly, we transferees here weren’t able to visit and head back there before you guys graduate. This semester has been the most grueling for many of us here. We were unable to grab the last opportunity to see you guys there.

To Mom and Dad,

If you only knew how burned out I am from everything that’s been happening to me during the past months. I never ceased on wishing that we never had the financial predicaments that we are always having, on thinking that life would have been more efficient, easier, and the future would be brighter for all of us.

To me,

I don’t know what’s in store for your future, but as always, you will keep on dreaming, eternally dreaming and that would drive you forward, someway, somehow, hopefully.

Noong Linggo, papunta ako sa TagCom, nakasakay sa jeep mula sa bahay namin papuntang Padre Faura. Isang sakay lang kasi mula doon papunta sa pag-gaganapan ng TagCom. Laking inis ko nang singilin ako ng kinse pesos. Eh ang kadalasang bayad noong wala pang diskuwento ay trese lang. Nagmamadali lang talaga ako kaya hinayaan ko na, at nakasakay pa naman ako sa harapan.

Sa pagbiyahe ng jeepney sa kahabaan ng Quezon Avenue, napansin ko na sa kada makakakita ng taong naka-abang sa gilid ng kalsada ang tsuper at at ang kasama niya, ay agarang titigil ito at susubukang kunin ang pasahero. Nakakairita, kasi maraming beses na dapat ay naka-usad na ito sa stoplight, ay babagalan pa ang andar para lang mapuno ang jeep. Sabog bagal tuloy ng biyahe. Pacman ang tawag namin sa mga jeepney na tulad nito, na sinusubukang kunin ang lahat ng biyaherong makita sa lansangan.

Pagdating sa may Quiapo, hindi nila itinigil ang gawaing ito at bagkus ay sinubukan lalong manguha ng pasaherong mangagaling sa simbahan. Imbes na mabilis lang naming babagtasin ang daan, ay sumiksik pa ang jeep sa gilid, at huminto, sabay tawag sa mga pasahero. Lingid sa kaalaman nila, ay may Pulis Maynila palang nagbabantay sa may paradahan sa gilid ng simbahan. Agad-agad niyang inutos sa tsuper na ibigay ang lisensiya nito. Ang nakakatawa, agaran ding nag-abot ng pera yung tsuper, sa layuning masuhulan siya at malagpasan ang pagkakahuli sa kanya. Dito ako nabilib, kasi pinagalitan pa ng Pulis Maynilang ito ang tsuper, hindi tinanggap ang pera at sabing "Aabutan mo pa ako, akin na lisensiya mo!" Wala nang nagawa ang tsuper kung hindi umalis sa Quiapo nang hindi pa napupuno ang jeep.

Papunta na kami ng Taft nang pinag-usapan ng tsuper at ng kasama nito ang naganap. Kesyo sayang daw ang pasahero, kung wala lang daw yung pulis eh tiba-tiba na sana sila. Laking ngisi ko talaga na nahuli sila.

Malapit-lapit na kami ng biglang bumili at nag-sindi ng nga yosi ang dalawang ito. Katulad ng nakagawian, kinuha ko ang aking panyo at itinatakip agad sa aking ilong upang mahalata naman na masama sa akin ang usok na nangagaling sa kanila. Ngunit, parang hindi nila inintindi na mag-yosi sa loob ng jeepney, na siya namang bawal talaga, at tila walang paki sa mga pasahero nila. Nagtagal pa kami sa Taft dahil sa trapik, kaya lalo akong nahirapang huminga, at sila'y dakdak pa rin ng dakdak sa sumapit sa kanila.

Pagdating namin sa Padre Faura, agad-agad akong bumaba. Ang alam ko, napahiyaw ako ng "Buti nga sa inyo!" Hindi ko lang alam kung narinig talaga nila.

The UP FebFair has just concluded, and I spent three nights in the grassland of the UP Sunken Garden. I was able to attend the Tuesday’s Rockultura, Wednesday’s Amplified, and Friday’s Loverage 3. My musical thirst just had to be quenched last week and each night gave me very interesting experiences. So let’s start discussing them.

I signed up to become part of the Volunteer Corps for Rockultura. The perks of being one are a free shirt from Lee, food and drinks, entrance, and backstage pass. At first, the task that was assigned to us was just to patrol in and out of the venue and check for security problems. We all thought that it would be just an easy task, and that we can actually enjoy fully the show. However, it turned out that it was necessary for many of us to become bouncers, runners, and escorts to some of the bands playing. It was very tiring, I tell you. The advantages however were the fact that we were able to take pictures and talk with some of our rock idols, and get to see them play at a very, very close distance. Urbandub’s Gabby Alipe’s kindness left an impression on me when I escorted Urbandub to their vehicle and he allowed all the people unable to go inside to get his autograph and pictures. It was the first time for me to see Paraluman live, and their vocalist Madz is really, really cute. The VolCorp were also gaga over Mona, a band vocalist/Theater Arts student that we met backstage.

My attendance to Amplified was an impromptu decision, having first thought that I would be unable to attend two consecutive concerts with a severe lack of sleep. But, Laurence, Kevin, and Chev planned to attend, and a good friend from Los Baños, Mike, suddenly showed up and paid for my entrance. Amplified’s band line-up boasted of a Parokya ni Edgar/Kamikazee exclusive, and the two bands really gave the crowd entertainment. Chev and I also tried the wall climbing set-up by UP Grip, and I found it quite easy to accomplish.

The attendance to Loverage 3 was pre-determined months before, and I was most excited for this one. What a disappointment it was when the event actually happened. Aside from a ruined plan and late meet-ups with the troop, the concert was eventually stopped due to the extreme violence the orcs, “jumping jologs”, boloks, or whatever you would like to call them are showing. They were throwing things, fighting the security, and eventually breaking the walls of the venue. It was a very frightful experience seeing the chaos and feeling the tension at such a close range. Good thing not one of my friends got hurt. Laurence, Ely, and I stayed at Pornz’ place after the concert, fleeing the venue before all the chaos started, and waited until daybreak. For the most part of the night, I was with Kevin, as we waited until one-by-one Pornz, Ely, Laurence, Dino, Alan, Vinzon, and Robert showed up. It was really disappointing hearing Bamboo forced to play their songs at an unusually slow pace due to the chaos outside. It was even more irritating that I was unable to see Racel, or get Erika inside the venue. Damn it!

Being able to be at the backstage for these kinds of concerts are a dream for some people, but the luster it had on me once had already faded. During the last years of being backstage at some of the fair concerts, I have grown disappointed and turned off with some of the personalities I once admired. One can hardly breathe with all the smoke coming from the cigarettes used by almost everybody. Even some of the seemingly untarnished, beautiful women of rock that we see and hear smoke heavily. Some bands are hard to please and deal with, while some seem really irritated by the flashes of the camera and the fans that try to take their pictures with. But there are those that are really nice and wouldn’t mind smiling with you and even engage you in a few conversations.

I would say that I enjoyed last year’s performances better. But, there were some experiences to note for this year, and I wouldn’t regret going to them. Well, the future of the fair is uncertain for me now, with the entire ruckus that those frigging JJs, orcs, boloks, or whatever had been constantly doing all these years. I don’t wish to sound discriminating, but what happened last Friday was enough to warrant them a no entry to any of the upcoming fairs, in my opinion. Damn, I sincerely can’t fathom how these people think and act. I had my share of wild concerts attended, slamming joined, and rock wear used. Heck, I was able to do a mosh-pit back then. But, the behavior of these people nowadays is so unimaginable, chaotic, and hard to understand. I was really irritated when we heard from passing people of their kind that they were really proud of their accomplished tearing down the walls last Friday. The nerve of this people to cause this chaos without thinking about the overall safety of the people inside the venue who are there to enjoy a clean, musical performance! Damn these people for ruining our nights last Friday!

Sundays are usually my day of workouts, since my Tuesdays to Saturdays are loaded with academic responsibilities. Afternoons are a good time to lift weights, since it's just past merienda time and when I'm finished, it's time for a hearty dinner and a good night's sleep follows. Since I don't have a working MP3 player as of the moment, I'm restricted to listening to the loud speakers tuned to the FM radio in the gym. It's amusing that most of the airtime; many of my favorite songs are being played. Tracks from my recent music play-list like Spongecola’s Di Na Mababawi and Closer You and I, Paraluman’s Teka, and some of my most favorite OPM rock songs from the 90s: the era of the old Rivermaya and Eraserheads. There are times that I’d be seemingly unconsciously singing my heart out inside the gym when these tracks play. A good singer’s voice never ran in our family’s bloodline, so I seldom sing in front of people. Usually, people listen to Hip-hop and R&B tracks when they’re working out at the gym. That I do as well, but it feels better for me to listen to those sad, love, rock songs whenever I lift weights or jog. I don’t know, but it kind of makes me feel better, another way of displacement and emotional immersion.

I guess I’m the feeling of singing your heart out and pouring the emotions that is represented by those music tracks. Luckily, this week is the UP FebFair week and I might find myself again immersed in a concert, which I haven’t been able to do for a long time. This might be the season’s fault as well.

The following are some of the fandoms that I currently follow. I've written the down on a whim.

The Los Angeles Lakers is the top team in the National Basketball Association this season, garnering up as of press time a win-loss record 28-6. The Lakers fell short of the coveted NBA Championship last season, being defeated by the powerhouse Boston Celtics 4-2. This season however, the Lakers are back again in contention, with a more powerful and deeper line-up. Center Andrew Bynum has returned from injury, and is back on the starting line-up, letting Pau Gasol handle the Power Forward position. Luke Walton has also healed, swapping the SF position from Vladimir Radmanovic from time to time. As always, Kobe is always fired up, ready to pummel offensive firepower against their opponents. This season, the whole team is much more focused on defense, which they believed was inefficient last season and cost them the Championship. It’s also amusing to watch whenever their rookie reserve guard Sun Yue play, as well as when the whole starting line-up is ordered to go back to the bench and let the reserves play.

Currently, their drawback is the injury of their back-up point guard Jordan Farmar, but is expected to return to play soon.

Starters:
PG - Derek Fisher
SG - Kobe Bryant
SF - Luke Walton
PF –Pau Gasol
C - Andrew Bynum

Bench
PG - Jordan Farmar
SG - Sasha Vujacic
SF - Vladimir Radmanovic
PF - Josh Powell
C - Chris Mihm
PG - Sun Yue
SG - Trevor Ariza
DJ Mbenga

The San Miguel Beermen has always been my favorite PBA team since my childhood days. The perennial powerhouse is racked by a star-studded line-up. It was a disappointment, however, that they weren’t able to keep a sure semi-final slot, having loss a lot during the last days of the Fiesta Cup Eliminations. But the Beermen were able to win the bloody Wildcard Phase, and gain a Quarterfinal slot, facing their sister team Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings. The Beermen won Game 1 of their Best-of-3 match.

Injuries however plagued the team, as rookie Samigue Eman, point guard Mike Cortez, and gunman Danny Ildefonso has been sidelined for the season. Danny Seigle was able to return to play for the Quarterfinals, but is not at 100 percent.

ef – a tale of melodies is the sequel to the 2007 series ef - a tale of memories. The 12 episode anime, which was based on the graphic novel ef – a fairy tale of the two, is a ride of intense drama, tones of depression, rollercoaster love-related emotions, elegant musical score and backgrounds, and superb art. Avant-garde is expressed all throughout, and the scenes are elegantly depicted. This is definitely one of the anime series that I have shed not a few tears. Ef – a tale of melodies now focus on characters Yuko Amamiya and Yu Himura, in their strange start of a relationship, and the complications that will follow, as well as Shuichi Kuze and Mizuki’s. Tragic and heavy for the heart are some of the words that can describe this series.

Mobile Suit Gundam 00 is now on its second season, having following the fates of the remaining members of the Celestial Being, and their quest to end warfare in the solar-powered future. New Gundam units are now being possessed by the Gundam Meisters, which are quite cool in design and firepower. I personally am enthralled by the combined unit 00-Raiser, and its super speed. Anyway, the continuation of the series promises great action sequences, and an intriguing story. New characters are introduced, some sided with the Celestial Being, others being the new antagonists Innovators, and more of the Earth Federation’s military.

Left 4 Dead is the new co-operative first-person shooter game that is my current PC game addiction. This game is set in apocalyptic scenarios, with four survivors fighting hordes of numerous infected. Being a zombie-flick-and-game fanatic, this became easily likable for me. The game runs on the Valve engine, the ones used for Counter-Strike and Half-Life. The game is fast-paced and really requires co-ordination between the four players. The objective of the campaign mode of the game is to reach a standpoint where rescue can pick the survivors up, but along the way are massive numbers of zombies, with special types that are sure to make things difficult for the players. It is truly an enjoyable way for four people to spend time with, killing computer zombies, and shouting at each other.

I’m currently looking forward to the return of my favorite American shows: Heroes and Chuck. Both series are to resume on February 2, 2009. The start of the season 3, Villains, of Heroes seemed to confuse people on its plot track, but has caught pace again in their last episodes. Chuck continuously gives me the comic relief and the spy thrills with each episode.

Music artists, actors and actresses, mixed martial artists and wrestlers, more personalities, and other current fandoms to be written in due time.

So, the year 2008 has already passed and 2009 makes its way to each and everyone. Like most of my holidays, the New Year celebration was more festive compared to the Christmas celebrations. We had a simple Media Noche, but it really made our stomachs full. Too bad Mom wasn’t able to perfect her Leche Flan and Tiramisu recipes again, much to my dismay. I was really anticipating indulging in those desserts. As usual, my family declined the use of pyrotechnics and I was limited to lighting up some Roman Candles given away by a good neighbor. The hood becomes a street party every time the clock ticks 12 to usher a new year, with houses putting on full blast their stereo speakers, and people jumping around, banging on the closed shops of the street, and groups of people sitting at makeshift tables, popping on gin, beer, or brandy.

There were fireworks up in the sky, and smoke still filled the air at the festive streets. But almost everyone noticed that the celebrations weren’t comparable to previous New Year festivities. Only an hour has passed since the clock ticked 12, and the crackling of pyrotechnics and the lights they emit have diminished. The rain spoiled the celebrations, and the lighting of some firecrackers. The economic crisis and the thriftiness of people nowadays seemed to really affect even one of the most festive celebrations of the Filipino.

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Christmas came by as well. My family prepared a much simpler Noche Buena, and slept after eating the midnight dinner, but not before I completed my text brigades of Christmas greetings to each Globe contact that I have. The Holidays require an activation of the unlimited texting service to be able to courteously reply to everyone, and I learned that one should anticipate the difficulty in availing the service especially during the eves of the special days. The day itself was spent with me heading to two of my Godmother’s houses. For this year’s Christmas earnings, I was able to gain a thousand and a hundred bucks and a new shirt. Not bad, considering that I’m already twenty and most people at my age are already shy to reach out to their Godparents. I’m just thick-faced and needing extra cash for the coming days. ^^

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Classes resume in UP Diliman on the 6th for me. The impending end of the vacation would put me in a feeling that I haven’t made the most out of it. Not all my plans for the vacation materialized, but something in me tells me that I actually enjoyed the Christmas break.

So until then, let’s put other non-festive thoughts aside and welcome the New Year. I’m not making any resolutions this time. I easily broke my last year’s resolution (don’t ask what).

There had been a spree of events, lots of missed lunches, and straight days and nights of lack of sleep for me. Sure enough, it was Engineering Week 2008. For the UP Gears and Pinions, I performed with them in the much heralded Smoker's Night, and helped with marshaling the Triathlokohan and Street Jam 2k8 events. For the UP Industrial Engineering Club, I joined the Cartoonlitan, the Proctor and Gamble IDS, and the PC Gameng'g (Engineering DotA Tournament). I'm just glad that for the 20th year, we have won the coveted Engineering Week Overall Champion. Kudos to everyone in the organization for their support, skills, and passion to win the championship.

Playing in the DotA tournament made me realize that I actually had only a few heroes mastered. But the feeling of playing with top-caliber players from an organization gave me a high that I haven't felt since the days of the Shock Clan. Too bad we only gained 3rd place in that tourney, but it showed that IE Club is a force to be reckoned with in the Engineering DotA scene.

I have also been able to watch in full length the 2008 Lantern Parade. I was with John and Sean, situated in Quezon Hall. The floats and lanterns of each college was just a sight to behold, especially the perennial mesmerizing works of the College of Fine Arts.

It was just so frigging irritating that Globe's signal during the Parade dropped to an all-time low, with people unable to contact each other. The same thing happened during the UP Centennial Kickoff. That's the reason that all my plans for the parade got scrapped big time. I got separated from my DotAmates, and was unable to meet with other friends and interests. The bottom-line is that I was unable to make the most out of my last day in UP for the year 2008.

So, I resorted to going to the Miss Engineering 2008, and joined in support of the candidate of UP Gears and Pinions, Timothy Arce. It was quite an overwhelming feeling to hear almost all the Engineering organizations supporting and highly expecting our candidate's performance. It saddens to see that he got the "Thank You For Joining" award. I don't think he deserves that award to be given to him. But, at least Arce got the "Mrs. Engineering" and "Ms. Congeniality" awards.

I sincerely wanted to go to the EWOC party of IE Club, but it would have a bearing to leave GPs as we awaited Arce to finish from his post-pageant responsibilities. =(

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There are only two days left before Christmas, but even now I still don't feel the Christmas spirit. People keep blaming the slumping economy and ineffective government, and many refrained from spending too much on the holidays. Back then, one can hear Christmas songs being loudly played at their stereo speakers everywhere. This time however, some streets keep a silent awaiting. Even the carolers diminished in number, as well as the amount of money people give to these house-hopping singers.

Or maybe it's just me feeling the coldness of the season. After all, I'm suffering from a flu that was caused by the chilling winds of the night.

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The Christmas party of UP AME was held last Friday, but before that Sean, Josh, Gab, and I bummed around Troy's house to battle each other out in some Playstation 2 games. We found it hard to reach the venue, which was at the Neopolitan Casa Milan in Fairview. There was lots of food, and pretty people in pretty clothes at the party. But in general, I found it boring after the party programs has ended. It just seemed like we just switched tambayans. Oh well, I have rants with friends after that.

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Left 4 Dead is a new cooperative, first-person shooter game set in four scenarios depicting a zombie-infested apocalypse. It's the new game to be addicted upon, and it's really fun to play with friends as you all try to survive and reach a rescue spot. But before you do just that, you'll have to combat hordes of different types of infected. A total stress relief, I tell you.

I was also able to catch up with Chuck and Heroes. Argh, why does both series have to halt until the first weeks of February?!

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House-hopping ends tomorrow, I think. I've been to Jun's in SSS Village, Marikina and J3's in Bicutan, Parañaque. The heart-to-heart talks and the conversations about anything were looked forward to. TJ and Dudi were also with me here in J3's for two days.

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Happy holidays to all.

This must be a late entry, considering that the days have passed since the events.

Like almost all Filipinos, I was glued to the television monitor last Sunday to watch the Pacquiao-de la Hoya fight. Aptly entitled "The Dream Match," this was a confrontation only previously fantasized or played in boxing simulation games. Going into the fight, Oscar de la Hoya was the favorite, having the size and reach advantage over the smaller Manny Pacquiao. The Filipino boxer had its speed as one of his strengths, and he surprised multitudes of people around the world by completely dominating the match.

I really applaud Pacquiao for that stunning performance. Kudos to trainer Freddie Roach and the rest of Team Pacquiao by delivering his ninth straight victory, and cementing his mark as the current best pound-for-pound fighter.

All throughout the match, and days prior to it, I was pestered by my father's irritating comments about how the match was just stirred for the big money involved, how the people are just being fooled, and how controversial the results would be. Heck, I couldn't enjoy the match with his sickening comments about it. He too was proven also wrong by the results.

I just sincerely hope that this victory of his wouldn't be utilized by the swarm of opportunistic politicians who crave for a shot besides the People's champ. The thought of Pacquiao taking up another crack at a government position is also something to be feared. To be honest, I think Pacquiao is someone with a good heart and a sincere interest to help people, but it wouldn't be proper for him to run again in the upcoming elections. I believe he already has the capacity to serve and help the Filipino people in other ways.

The thoughts above came to my mind when I was stuck in a traffic jam along Quezon Avenue yesterday, when the Pacquiao motorcade passed by that road and I caught a glimpse of the current WBC Lightweight Champion for three seconds.

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This is my first time to be active in the Engineering Week, and I found it hard to juggle time fulfilling responsibilities as a UP Gears and Pinions and a UP Industrial Engineering Club member. But so far, I think I've been able to multi-task. The performance of the UP Gears and Pinions at the Engineering Smokers' Night last December 10 was awesome. The crowd was really craving for our skit, and their high expectations were met. The performance was an interpretation of the Super Mario Bros game. My hats off to Jayreus Jimenez for his idea. I've also been able to be part of some mini-events for IE Club. So far, things are looking well for the organization and hopefully we get our 20th Engineering Week Overall Championship.

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Despite the hectic schedules of the previous and current week, I was still able to do two of my hobbies, namely weight training and DotA.

I'm looking forward for the upcoming vacation, despite the possibility that it would be uneventful for me.

I think I'm standing at a point where some of my priorities, and people to be with are about to change, perspectives to shift, and my personality to incline and deter in certain aspects.

My semester just concluded last Wednesday, and I'm trying to make the most out of the really short vacation that I have. The academic semester ended in a stressing note, and the last finals canceled my ability to go to the UP Gears and Pinions Final Rites. Thus, I would have to take the FR next semester, along with some of my co-applicants who were not able to go as well.

I went to J3's place soon after my last finals to de-stress, and caught up with the latest episodes of Bleach, Heroes, and Chuck there. I was also able to watch Max Payne last Friday with Gian as well.

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Congratulations to all the new members of UP AME! Medyo napahirapan namin kayo noong induction, pero sulit naman lahat ng pagod at pagpapahirap hindi ba? I just hope that you guys and girls keep in your hearts and minds all the values we've imparted over the semester and in the induction. XD

I was able to attend UP AME's induction yesterday. It was held at 3B Resthouse in Antipolo. It was the first time for our organization to hold an overnight induction process as the past induction ceremonies are limited to the daytime. I can clearly state that the process this semester was harder than past instances. I wouldn't even want to imagine if I was one of the applicants. It was really, really enjoyable to be on the other side of things this time, being one of those members who'll indeed try to test your emotional strength and determination.

It was also one of those overnights that I really enjoyed going to. I was looking forward to dipping in the swimming pool. The mature discussions on relationships, love-life, organizational structure and leadership sparked my interests that I really had no time to sleep. It seems like I did miss talking with my buddy and my other friends in the organization as well.

Overnight at J3's. It's been a while since I came here, and it was another spontaneous, random invite. As usual, I'm enjoying the bum's paradise that is his humble abode. I've been practicing Guitar Hero and caught up with Heroes Season 3 here.

Prior to that, the commute towards here was filled with serious topics such as organizational structure, behavior, and ideal leadership. These are certain topics I had wanted to discuss with someone for some time now. Suggestions on image, behavior, well-being, and certain examples had been shared between the both of us, him being a vice-president of one of my organizations. To him, the fact that these thoughts have manifested means that it was the next step. I clarified that it was because I had found myself in situations wherein I find myself pondering the future of things I hold dear, and my growing concerns.

(after a talk about how heads try to get close with their members)
Wilfred: "The best way to get close to people is when you open up topics about their love life, their goals and dreams in life, and family stuff. Also, it would be very lucky if you people shared the same interests and hobbies."
J3: "Naku, problema ko yung sa pag-ibig. Wala akong maibabalik na kuwento eh."
(laughs at each other)

The ES 11 Final Examination that I blatantly cursed during its taking and after that has surprised me with an unexpected high score. Talk about luck, being the second highest in class. Thus, I secured myself a possible continuing future in the life of an Engineering undergraduate. One can really feel my expressed delight and relief yesterday. The semester hasn't ended just there though, since there's still the ME 63 Finals this Saturday, and unfortunately being texted by my ME 91 instructor that I have to take the final examination. I just can't have all the good things, can I?

Enough about academics. I'm very excited about the very short semestral break that I would have. Meeting up with my high school friends would be one of the things I'm really looking forward to. Drinking sessions, meet-ups, overnights, gym sessions; any of those will do just fine. I am also hoping that by a sheer chance that I would be able to go to UP Los Baños one more time, to see the people that were dear to me back there. It would only be a matter of months before my former dormmates, blockmates, and classmates there would graduate. That might be our last chance to see each other again.

Talk about being sentimental and reminiscent. A friend once said that I was really such a sentimental person.

Also, for quite some time now, I've been reconnecting with pasts. Yep, those that I had intentionally estranged myself from. Rather, they have been trying to reconnect with me in quite surprising ways. I guess I finally told myself that in order to gain the future, one must make peace with his past and present. Through those actions, have I really achieved that?

Quite surprising was yesterday's remark from an orgmate. Did many really think that I was making moves to certain people in our organization. I guess the image really seem to present just that. I was quick to deny such allegations, especially her thought that I was getting really close to someone. IF you only knew, I have not allowed myself to be immersed to anyone there. It was quite enjoyable discussing that topic though.

I am living the network gamer's life regularly nowadays. DotA and FocS matches between my friends at AME, acquaintances and friends from NCPAG, and orgmates at GPs occur frequently nowadays. I guess I'm really enjoying the stress relief (or the stress induced) by these matches, and the company of these people.

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Let me get back on track. I sincerely need to.